Spirometry

If there’s one thing that can turn my day into a horrible, sweaty mess it’d be a breathing test.  After I showed up at my lung doc’s office earlier this week to find their computer system in shambles and my appointment lost, they rescheduled me for today.  I showed up 10 minutes before my appointment to find the computer problem even worse than before.  Cardiology was turning all patients away and forcing them to reschedule, but fortunately pulmonology was seeing any patients who arrived.  My appointments were still in the computer from a couple days ago as I was scheduled for spirometry and then a visit with the NP.

So a couple weeks ago I became extremely congested, which slowly moved from my sinuses to my throat to my chest.  I did a measly five-day z-pack, which I was skeptical about, yet they tell me I only have expiratory wheezes now.  I’ll take that over the constant accordion noises I was making at the beginning of the week.  My visit did start out with spirometry which really isn’t a big deal.  On a good day I just exhale as forcefully as possible into a tube and as long as I have three good attempts that aren’t statistically-significantly-different (did I just make that hyphen up?) from each other, I’m good to go.  Not so much today.  Any resemblance of a forceful exhale was sending me into coughing fits and I sounded like those old people who see my doctor.  You know, the ones with SERIOUS breathing issues who are targeted by all the commercials for my medications.  Even the nurse said, “GOOD GRIEF!  Sounds like we’re breaking some junk up in there!”  Eventually I had three that were similar enough to count and I actually felt much better after breaking up all that junk.  Unfortunately that feeling last maybe an hour before I was back to where I was.  This is why trying to stay active is important and why they’re always worried about people lying in hospital beds getting fluid in their lungs.  There’s still no end in sight yet for my prednisone habit, but I’m hoping my exhales can start sounding less like the 70 yr old thankful Spiriva allows him to eat dinner at the table and more like…well, a normal person.